Soooo, I’ve been on this journey a long time. And I’ve had my ups and downs. I have many a triumphs and even more disappointments, which I’ve tried to turn into epiphanies so that every setback can be a learning experience. I think that’s the one thing with natural hair…or at least my natural hair. My crown is an ever-morphing entity. I’ve had so many different routines for different styles, different stages, different styles at different stages…that I’ve had a million and one hair idols along the way.
My hair idols have been less “hair role models” and more “inspiration”. I’ve yet to find anyone with my exact hair texture, so I look to people that are “different” who I believe embody the spirit of what I want to emit. And for a while, I was idol-less. I’ve reached a length and density that leave me wanting a little more. I reached BSL (that’s bra-strap length for all the non-forumers) and I cut back to just below APL (arm-pit length). And mentally, I got to a point where I was contemplating (dare I say it…) texturizing. Time is such a luxury in my life now. And with a head of hair as thick as mine, wash/condition/detangle/style sessions are weekend long marathons.
So, I started wavering…I longed for the ease of styling above all else, and I was surfing the net for the biggest oxymoron there is: a gentle relaxer. And that’s when it happened.
Divine intervention. It (or He or She) led me to the mane that belongs to Sabina Karlsson.
Three words: Lord. Have. Mercy.
When I first started, I always said I just wanted ‘big hair’. I made it to ‘big hair status’ and I was left asking, “Now what?” Where do you go after you reach your goals? How do you figure out what to aspire to next when you’re plum out of inspiration? Your socks get knocked off from out of nowhere and you get rejuvenated. Do I think her hair is exactly like mine? Absolutely not. But, it is so glorious that it has reawakened my natural sensibilities. Reminded me of why I’ve stayed natural these last few years…
In my opinion, my healthy, natural mane trumps all I’ve done in the past. So, for now at least, I can persevere now that there’s a little more wind in my sails. Like everything else in life, my natural journey is cyclic. And for now, I’m on an upswing.
Stay tuned…these little bursts of channeled purpose often spur my creative side. I’ll likely spend some time in the lab and report back!